just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
