WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
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i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
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It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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