shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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