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• (207): View more from Maine

  Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her

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• (856): View more from New Jersey

  i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"

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• (337): View more from Louisiana

  Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.

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  These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (828): View more from North Carolina

  I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.

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• (278): View more from Michigan

  Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.

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• (620): View more from Kansas

  nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr

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• (407): View more from Florida

  I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far

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• (434): View more from Virginia

  do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?

  (540): View more from Virginia

  yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.

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  25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (785): View more from Kansas

  i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up

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• (586): View more from Michigan

  The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night

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• (505): View more from New Mexico

  The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"

  (703): View more from Virginia

  Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend

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• (616): View more from Michigan

  I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?

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• (808): View more from Hawaii

  Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.

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