I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"