there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
These 23 People Prove You Don’t Have To Be A 10 To Be Good In Bed
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
21 People That Had The Worst Birthdays Imaginable
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml