Texts From Last Night

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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails

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  (704): she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails http://tfl.nu/8gop
  Replies (9) Good night (619) Bad night (4155)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?

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  (253): is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator? http://tfl.nu/votk
  Replies (50) Good night (1765) Bad night (8851)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.

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  (573): Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning. http://tfl.nu/k6zp
  Replies (10) Good night (6197) Bad night (731)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it

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  (402): you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it http://tfl.nu/0kqo
  Replies (11) Good night (4200) Bad night (1723)
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.

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  (216): the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again. http://tfl.nu/jfz7
  Replies (6) Good night (878) Bad night (3622)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace

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  (413): My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace http://tfl.nu/tutd
  Replies (10) Good night (1678) Bad night (4559)
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..

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  (302): you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor.. http://tfl.nu/0kdc
  Replies (8) Good night (2618) Bad night (1083)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer

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  (814): Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer http://tfl.nu/nk2m
  Replies (6) Good night (2481) Bad night (921)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.

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  (513): constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time. http://tfl.nu/n1tc
  Replies (3) Good night (1713) Bad night (785)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.

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  (410): So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie. http://tfl.nu/7rxk
  Replies (13) Good night (1629) Bad night (771)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.

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  (304): He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away. http://tfl.nu/477o
  Replies (2) Good night (1339) Bad night (614)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.

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  (843): Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now. http://tfl.nu/4hes
  Replies (3) Good night (453) Bad night (860)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?

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  (330): Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure? http://tfl.nu/lg4r
  Replies (3) Good night (425) Bad night (908)
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?

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  (740): I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage? http://tfl.nu/ih0x
  Replies (6) Good night (733) Bad night (411)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.

  (1-818): View more from California

  Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.

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  (818): You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible. (1-818): Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins. http://tfl.nu/2adc
  Replies (2) Good night (823) Bad night (437)

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