You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
25 Men Talk About the First Time They Went Down On A Woman
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
23 Ex Fraternity Brothers & Sorority Sisters Confess Their Most Insane Stories
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Randomize
