Texts From Last Night

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  (205): View more from Alabama

  Why does Corona taste like a burp?

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  (205): Why does Corona taste like a burp? http://tfl.nu/2bn9
  Replies (39) Good night (720) Bad night (3735)
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  (974): View more from

  You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.

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  (974): You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it. http://tfl.nu/orv6
  Replies (28) Good night (8038) Bad night (988)
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  (806): View more from Texas

  What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???

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  (806): What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head??? http://tfl.nu/gwk9
  Replies (30) Good night (4748) Bad night (1644)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well

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  (812): Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well http://tfl.nu/2njp
  Replies (9) Good night (3821) Bad night (1231)
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  (914): View more from New York

  Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos

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  (914): Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos http://tfl.nu/qe5u
  Replies (33) Good night (2832) Bad night (5123)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.

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  (908): but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before. http://tfl.nu/ra7g
  Replies (20) Good night (5225) Bad night (1048)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I want to take my head off and cuddle with it

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole

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  (832): I want to take my head off and cuddle with it (832): Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole http://tfl.nu/jldl
  Replies (7) Good night (1214) Bad night (677)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight

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  (253): We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight http://tfl.nu/nnba
  Replies (18) Good night (1862) Bad night (651)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  Sounds like sex on a twister board.

  (1-541): View more from Oregon

  An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...

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  (541): Sounds like sex on a twister board. (1-541): An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing... http://tfl.nu/ydi6
  Replies (2) Good night (1142) Bad night (431)
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  (478): View more from Georgia

  It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"

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  (478): It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT" http://tfl.nu/0wpw
  Replies (5) Good night (810) Bad night (1890)
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  (478): View more from Georgia

  I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."

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  (478): I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you." http://tfl.nu/9ihc
  Replies (1) Good night (423) Bad night (1012)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.

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  (201): I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone. http://tfl.nu/6r51
  Replies (2) Good night (686) Bad night (400)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight

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  (703): its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight http://tfl.nu/7hxm
  Replies (1) Good night (716) Bad night (386)
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  (562): View more from California

  Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.

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  (562): Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it. http://tfl.nu/uvne
  Replies (0) Good night (667) Bad night (329)
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  (310): View more from California

  I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat

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  (310): I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat http://tfl.nu/7mqh
  Replies (1) Good night (964) Bad night (228)

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