Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(843): View more from South Carolina

Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.

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(843): Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call. http://tfl.nu/3web

Replies (69) Good night (5577) Bad night (1071)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.

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(570): We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine. http://tfl.nu/j4ko

Replies (7) Good night (746) Bad night (1672)
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(706): View more from Georgia

i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"

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(706): i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!" http://tfl.nu/rg7b

Replies (164) Good night (1704) Bad night (3297)
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(360): View more from Washington

Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!

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(360): Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher! http://tfl.nu/zrl8

Replies (34) Good night (6656) Bad night (532)
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(843): View more from South Carolina

just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.

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(843): just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style. http://tfl.nu/ygfi

Replies (8) Good night (1257) Bad night (2992)
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(913): View more from Kansas

Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.

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(913): Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it. http://tfl.nu/o6yg

Replies (16) Good night (3365) Bad night (983)
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(518): View more from New York

He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"

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(518): He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!" http://tfl.nu/furw

Replies (68) Good night (7433) Bad night (2005)
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(580): View more from Oklahoma

Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.

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(580): Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged. http://tfl.nu/xha8

Replies (57) Good night (2270) Bad night (4416)
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(509): View more from Washington

Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.

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(509): Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made. http://tfl.nu/ax9s

Replies (13) Good night (4239) Bad night (1777)
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(541): View more from Oregon

Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.

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(541): Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids. http://tfl.nu/e2e0

Replies (12) Good night (2236) Bad night (623)
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(310): View more from California

I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.

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(310): I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE. http://tfl.nu/riqc

Replies (3) Good night (898) Bad night (1369)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band

(312): View more from Illinois

Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume

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(402): Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band (312): Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume http://tfl.nu/sqqx

Replies (19) Good night (2759) Bad night (623)
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(810): View more from Michigan

in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.

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(810): in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure. http://tfl.nu/xpih

Replies (2) Good night (280) Bad night (300)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.

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(412): Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon. http://tfl.nu/le72

Replies (0) Good night (745) Bad night (194)
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(716): View more from New York

I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.

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(716): I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me. http://tfl.nu/jxfi

Replies (5) Good night (555) Bad night (191)

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