if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT