yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Can I color on your dick again?
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
