Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
