It's Friday. Sex?
Quick, to the slutcave!
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
