I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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