So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
