I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
