i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
