I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
