I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize