If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize