i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
