Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
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It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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