you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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