i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
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