are you still at the devil's house?
it hurts more in the daytime
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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