i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
