too bad you live with your parents still
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
