My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
