Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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