nut hugger
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
He passed out mid-signature
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
