Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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