Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I can't put those talents on a resume
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
