my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
