I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
