I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
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Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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