Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
