Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I have feelings that need drinking.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
