Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
