We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
