i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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