Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
