I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
