I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
