There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
