Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
