So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
