my phone needs a breathalizer
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Randomize