I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
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