Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
