How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
