Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Holy sore nipples Batman
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
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