my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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