If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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