When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
We have started to decorate penises.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
