Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
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