Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
