i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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