Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(907): View more from Alaska

How are you feeling today?

(330): View more from Ohio

i could've thrown up on command at any point today...

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(818): View more from California

His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.

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(330): View more from Ohio

After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...

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(802): View more from Vermont

think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....

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(320): View more from Minnesota

Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.

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(775): View more from Nevada

Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.

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(506): View more from New Brunswick

On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?

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