If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
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