How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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