***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
