Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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