as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
