She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
