its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
