i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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