Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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