waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
