Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Mom said you looked used
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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