But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
