Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
