So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
did i just pee glitter
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
