Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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